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Roger heard that Freddie was doing poorly and was actually on his way to Garden Lodge to see him when Freddie died. Phoebe called him en route and told him not to bother to come because Freddie had already died. Roger had to pull his car over when he was given the news. There is a fairly recent interview in which he reveals this and all these years later breaks down a little at the end. John never visited Garden Lodge during this time. Since there are so many accounts of how close he and Freddie were it can only be assumed that John feared he might be unable to maintain composure. Tony Iomi said that after the tribute concert ended the loss of Freddie had all of the band members “distraught” but that John “just went to bits”. Roger said, “That period of knowing about Freddie’s illness had a more damaging effect on him than the rest of us.”
Mary said in an interview that Freddie simply could not tolerate shows of emotion during his illness so if he noticed someone’s eyes just misting up a little he would avoid them for days. To me, this stoicism reveals such deep pain—a dam that dare not be breached—even though he did come to accept his death and experience some tranquility to the end. Freddie described himself as high strung and very emotional so becoming stoic must have been a necessity. It also means that his loved ones couldn’t really tell him “good-bye” or even say the things they wanted to say to him.